IF ONLY WE KNEW - a song about how people tend to judge others‘ behaviour too fast.. but if only they knew what stands behind the behaviour.. they would’ve been much more compassionate and patient.
If only we knew the reasons behind the unpleasant expressions of others, we could’ve been more understanding & supportive & find ways to build relationships filled with more love.
Ultimately, the less love we feel towards another, the more love we need to give ourselves - be it through communication and asking questions, finding out the reasons.. or through self-care & focusing on our own lives & giving the other party also space for self-care.
IF ONLY WE KNEW - Lyrics
Verse 1
He’s so cold, pays no attention,
Fails to open up to her
She’s longing for a conversation
Wanting their connection secured
It’s easier to judge, put the blame on him
Thinking he doesn’t care
It may be from his past
Maybe hard to trust
With so many fears
Chorus
If only she knew
The reasons, the feelings he hides
And denies
If only he could
Imagine what’s hidden inside
In her eyes
If only she knew
The reasons, the feelings he hides
And denies
If only he could
Imagine what’s hidden inside
In her eyes
Verse 2
She’s on fire, with him she fights
With those she loves the most
Mother, wife, restless nights
All at once, she’s getting lost
No, she’s not at fault
Maybe she forgot
Who she is and what she brings
All the dreams and plans
That she used to have
Before all these tears
Chorus
If only she knew
The reasons, the feelings he hides
And denies
If only he could
Imagine what’s hidden inside
In her eyes
If we realised
The common between us is right there
If only we could see
Behind all this the pain and understand
If only we knew..
ЕСЛИ БЫ ТОЛЬКО МЫ ЗНАЛИ
Куплет 1
Он такой холодный, не обращает внимания,
Не может открыться ей
Она жаждет разговора
Хочет укрепить их связь
Легче осуждать, возлагать вину на него
Думая, что ему все равно
Это может быть из его прошлого
Может быть, трудно доверять
Он полон страхов
Припев
Если бы только она знала
Причины, чувства, которые он скрывает и отрицает
Если бы только он мог
Представить, что скрыто внутри, в ее глазах
Если бы только она знала
Причины, чувства, которые он скрывает и отрицает
Если бы только он мог
Представить, что скрыто внутри, в ее глазах
Куплет 2
Она в огне, она борется с ним
С теми, кого она любит больше всего
Мать, жена, беспокойные ночи
Все сразу, она теряется
Нет, она не виновата
Может быть, она забыла,
Кто она и что она несет в мир,
Все мечты и планы,
Которые у нее были раньше,
До всех этих слез
Припев
Если бы только она знала
Причины, чувства, которые он скрывает и отрицает
Если бы только он мог
Представить, что скрыто внутри, в ее глазах
Если бы мы осознали
Общее между нами прямо здесь
Если бы только мы могли увидеть
За всем этим боль и понять
Если бы только мы знали...
WENN WIR NUR WÜSSTEN
Strophe 1
Er ist so kalt, ignoriert sie,
Verschließt sich immer mehr.
Sie sehnt sich nach einem Gespräch,
Wünscht sich Nähe und sichere Verbindung.
Es ist einfacher, ihn zu beurteilen, ihm die Schuld zu geben,
Zu glauben, sie ist ihm egal.
Doch vielleicht liegt es an seiner Vergangenheit,
Vertrauen fällt ihm schwer –
Zu viele Ängste in sich.
Refrain
Wenn sie nur wüsste,
Was er fühlt, was er tief in sich verbirgt und verdrängt.
Wenn er nur könnte erahnen, was sich in ihr
Versteckt und bedrängt.
Wenn sie nur wüsste,
Was er fühlt, was er tief in sich verbirgt und verdrängt.
Wenn er nur könnte erahnen, was sich in ihr
Versteckt und bedrängt.
Strophe 2
Sie explodiert, mit ihm streitet sie,
Auch mit denen, die sie am meisten liebt.
Mutter, Frau, schlaflose Nächte –
Alles gleichzeitig – sie verliert sich.
Nein, sie trägt keine Schuld,
Doch vielleicht vergaß sie,
Wer sie ist und was sie schenkt.
Alle Träume, alle Pläne,
Die sie einst hatte –
Verloren im Schmerz, der sie lenkt.
Refrain
Wenn sie nur wüsste,
Was er fühlt, was er tief in sich verbirgt und verdrängt.
Wenn er nur könnte erahnen, was sich in ihr
Versteckt und bedrängt.
Wenn wir nur wüssten,
Wie viel uns verbindet, hier und jetzt.
Wenn wir nur sehen könnten,
Was hinter all dem Schmerz steht – und das verstehen.
Wenn wir nur wüssten...
Contemplate on the ideas behind the song.
Ask yourself the following questions:
Who in your life isn't meeting your expectation of open dialogue? It's important to acknowledge that and to give space to that person's behaviour and to your feelings about it.
One might feel that one achieves security by creating some external conditions.. In fact, this feeling comes from within. Why do you think you might feel insecure? How do you think your can provide yourself the security that you long for? If you don't have any ideas of how, just ackhowledge that you are the one who can give yourself what you need, and other people aren't responsible for satisfying your needs.
What are you judging in others' behaviour? What are others doing wrong that you'd like to change?
Don't dismiss them, instead focus on yourself and whenever you talk to others, share your own feelings without blaming others for your feelings.
What might be the reason that another person isn't opening up or isn't able to change their ways?
No, he/she is not an asshole. He/she is doing his/her best, like everyone at any particular moment: people are doing their best given what they have, being where they are.
What might be the reasons for someone's unpreferrable behaviour?
What pain are you hiding?
What pain might your partner be hiding?
What could be the reason for one to be fighting with people one loves the most?
What do you need right now to feel better? Is it better care of your body? Is it more time with yourself? Is it some external help/support?
It's really hard to 'control' oneself when one is lost and doesn't feel one's own worth.. If it's your situation: how can you take care of yourself better?
If it's happening to someone you know: how could you support them?
Yes, our dissatisfaction with others stems also from our own lack of resources and unmet needs..
Give your feelings and emotions space and acceptance. You are allowed to feel what you feel. And then allow others to feel & behave the way they do.
If you are ready to support, offer support.
If only you knew why he/she is behaving the way he/she is behaving.. How would you react?
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